i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
