The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Randomize
