if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
