another moral hangover. fuck.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
