Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
