Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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