how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
