Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
