we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
