you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
