so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
