woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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