textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
