I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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