Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
