I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
