just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
