we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
