you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Randomize
