I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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