I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
