I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
