Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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