Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
