just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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