Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
