Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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