haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
