He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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