No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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