The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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