just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
