and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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