i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
