you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
