Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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