Soap is not a condiment
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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