You're completely useless in the revolution.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
