My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
