Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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