I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
