erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
