Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
