i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Randomize
