with your own penis?
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
