I wanna bring you to show and tell
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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