I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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