; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
