my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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