I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
As shirtless as possible
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
