don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
