I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
