i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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